Like many people I have spent a great deal of my life dreaming of a better future for myself and of the goals I would like to achieve. There is nothing inherently wrong with dreaming and goal setting but the challenge comes when that’s all we focus on void of self-care. Some beat themselves up for where they are especially if they think it’s a long way from where they would like to be. Others, like myself often ignore the need to celebrate where we are and how far we’ve come. We trade that off for negative self-talk that says we should be further along, have more money, more influence, more degrees and the list goes on. We’re conditioned that this way of thinking helps achieve goals and that we should only celebrate upon reaching them.
There’s one big problem with always being future focused. First there is NO future without the very necessary steps that take place in the present. There is no other time in our lives that has more power and has a bigger impact on how well we do in the future or how well we perceive the events of the past. Not only that, the present is more important than all the experiences that have brought us here. Without proper understanding of the present we’re more likely to view the past as victims of it rather than as thriving overcomers that have made it through, while still capable of creating healthy lives.
I was reminded recently when I wrote my first blog, to break it up a bit. She told me that people get readers fatigue and the paragraphs need to be properly broken up on the screen for readers so they feel as if they’ve accomplished something after each break. As I was writing this blog, following her advice, I thought about that same person and how she does not really give herself the kinds of breaks she gives readers of her work. This woman is dope and a very accomplished poet and author. Although she doesn’t always think so, trust me she’s a beast. Hell, I’m having a love affair with her first novel right now lol. Anyway, her advice made me think about how I can do a better job of recharging, celebrating and giving myself a break too. We all deserve and need breaks. We can enjoy healthy ones if we allow ourselves to see that its not slacking off but restoring our energy so we can be even more effective, creative and amazing.
Now I am not saying that you can’t achieve great things pushing yourself and ignoring self care, rest and celebrating yourself along the way. Many people all over the world manage to do a lot and they treat themselves like trash most of the time, so let’s be clear about that. What I am saying is that if you don’t focus any energy on WHO you will be and how much of you will be left once you achieve your goals, then it’s not really worth it. So many work tirelessly for goals and once they get to wherever it is they were going, it’s as if they have no energy to even celebrate. If they do celebrate, in an instant their celebration is over, feeling as if that goal wasn’t quite big or good enough. Soon they are on to another goal, trusting it will make themselves feel more worthy.
You are already worthy. You’re worthy of working toward your goals and certainly worthy of feeling amazing on the journey and when you arrive. Those things are not mutually exclusive as I have been reminded several times this year. Focus, set your intention, push past your fears, step out, find your new personal best each day as you move toward your goals AND put yourself on your ‘To
Do Love List’. The world needs as much of you to survive the journey to great accomplishments as possible. Show us what it looks like to live bold, bright, accomplished AND whole. Either you love on yourself now or you’ll forever be in the space looking for a goal, a person or some thing to give you the love only you can share with yourself.
Start with something small a walk in a park you love at least once a week, a long bath (I had one today OMG it was awesome!), or a steaming hot shower with the lights off and candles going, watch an old TV show you loved as a kid, color, sing a song you love, dance naked in front of the mirror or with your favorite jeans on. Whatever you do….if it’s YOU focused and you enjoy it DO IT. Unless it’s crack, don’t do crack OK. Get in the habit of putting you on the list, celebrating your presence on the planet. Let’s face it, you’re fucking dope and I’m glad you’re here reading this blog about how much you deserve to be celebrated. You got this, trust me, if I can do it….I know you can. We’re in this together remember.
So do me a solid and scroll up to the top of this entry and leave a comment about what you plan to do to celebrate YOU today. Come back in a week or whenever and drop some lines about how it’s going for you. Aye, if you’re really a boss do a 15 second dance party celebration twice a day, set your alarm on your cell to remind you, then slip into the bathroom at work or home and rock out for 15 seconds. You’ll laugh and over time you’ll wonder why you never did it before. Take it up a notch and title the alarm something dope like “You the shit, NOW dance!” or “Show me your sexy moves in 15 seconds.” Have fun with it OK. You are worth it. Peace!